For as long as I can remember I wanted to fit in. Weigh a certain weight. Look a certain way. Dress with the trends. Be popular. Do the good things. Do the good deeds. Be the good girl. Get the good grades. So on and so forth.
I didn’t want to be seen as weird or smart, so I downplayed my abilities and really didn’t know how to speak up for myself much. Actually, I couldn’t really speak up for myself at all. It was hard for me to say no without feeling bad, or afraid of hurting other people’s feelings. Assertiveness made me feel like a real big ass hole! I thought being self-assured meant you were too big for your own pants.
Did I actually have the right to speak my truth? And how the heck do I do that in the first place?
I couldn’t stop being too nice without getting walked on time and time again.
Why?
Because I was a people-pleasin machine, had saying sorry down like it was my second language, and I let all the good in me be taken away by other people’s power (or lack thereof because they didn’t have any power, that’s why they had to borrow mine).
Nonetheless, it sucked the life outta me! Bad… Really, really bad. I was drained. My self-esteem and self-worth were left to the waste side, as I always seemed to put myself on the backburner. Always doing, doing, and doing, but doing nothing for myself. Basically, I was playing small for a long, long time!
Until I finally decided to throw in the towel and make a BIG switch towards self-acceptance and self-care. I had to decide to start becoming the best version of myself for myself. I started looking inward instead of outward to ask myself the deeper questions of why I was beating myself up in the first place.
Why did I need anyone to “approve” of who I was anyway? Did it really even matter?
I’ve been on this journey for quite some time, and I’ll tell ya, it’s still a journey every.single.day and I believe it always will be. Because we're constantly evolving. I now know and understand, developing YOURSELF is a really great thing!
I also had to start saying NO! Yep, the 2 letter word that now keeps me grounded. No more wishing or no more hoping to have more. No more not feeling unworthy or guilty. The list goes on and on. But NO means NO (just a like a toddler says it best, right?!)
I write this post to encourage YOU to start your voyage into becoming unapologetically untamed to master your self-esteem and self-confidence. Because it really starts with YOURSELF first and foremost.
I want YOU to start living YOUR BEST life on YOUR terms, regardless of what others think.
Seriously, listen to their opinions, but in the end, they are merely their opinions. And YOURS matter most! This was a hard lesson for me to master towards having better self-love, but if I didn’t do it, I swear, I’d still be stuck.
Because sharing is caring, I want to give you my TOP 5 reasons to lean into being unapologetically untamed. These are still things I still do to hold myself accountable. So here ya go:
1.) Honor yourself and how you're evolving. Even if it’s slower than you anticipated. Lord knows, I’m hard headed and impatient, but patience really is a virtue 😊
2.) Let go and trust. Trusting YOURSELF is huge. You have to build trust in your body, your soul, and your mind in order to really start stepping into self-love/acceptance.
3.) Change is scary but do it anyway. The only person that likes change is a wet baby. But the reality is change is unavoidable. Going with the flow seeing how change can be a good thing, will help you leap towards it.
4.) Do something you love, or start finding out what that means to YOU. Whether you draw, write, read, play a sport, whatever….just do something that is for you. No one else included.
5.) Stay open to the opportunities but don’t settle. Settling will only cause you more grief and stop the process. Instead, be open to what “could be” and that’s where the enchanted happens. You remember Cinderella, right?
So, there ya have it. My reasons and explanations of why it’s crucial to not apologize on your expedition towards self-love, self-care, self-awareness, whatever you wanna call it. No matter where you are, you have time. We all get the same amount a day, so use those 24 hours wisely.
Any questions. As always, I’m here to support. Have a wonderful day and talk soon!
Love,
Kayla
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